myvoice

A year of change

2012-01-01T23:52:00.002+08:00

I hope this new year would be a year of change.

To the better.

And I hope I mature mentally in the process.

Amiin

2011

2011-12-31T23:13:00.003+08:00

2011 was an eventful year for me.

I moved to a new place, was an intern journalist, finished my degree, backpacked across the UK, decided not to work and became a homemaker, went to Germany twice; once in summer and once in autumn and on the last day of the year, registered as a voter.

As for my family; my little sister was in the middle of the Egyptian riot, my second sister lost her HUGE car, my eldest sister decided to get married, my brother turned BITTER 16, my father and his new family moved to Indonesia for good and my mother stayed unchanged.

Overall, it was a LONG, but GREAT year.

See you

2011-12-27T23:24:00.003+08:00

Saying Goodbye is hard to do, but I think I'm already used to it. First to Scotland, then to Perak and Germany.

There's something I notice about being away. People always give you false promises and hopes.

One year

2011-11-11T23:27:00.003+08:00

Last year in May, my uncle lost his wife. A few months later, he found a replacement. Sadly, before they could celebrate they first anniversary together, it's my uncle's turn to leave for good.

It's sad to see his new wife becoming a widow five days before their first wedding anniversary. And it's her first marriage.

Discover Bremen

2011-08-11T22:49:00.005+08:00

I'm currently in Bremen, staying with my friend Chun Chun. This isn't my first time here, but I notice Bremen is a lot different from Hamburg, eventhough Hamburg is the second largest city in Germany.

Tram
The first thing I noticed was, trams. Hamburg doesn't have trams.

Historical buildings

The buildings in Bremen look very historical. Whether it's a museum, a university or an apartment.

This is my friend's apartment from outside

Art
Well, art belongs to history and for the first time in my life, I visited an art museum in Bremen.

Shopping centre by the sea
As the name suggests, Waterfront is literally facing the sea.

Street performance
Well, street performers are everywhere.

Asians
I see a lot of Asians in Bremen. My friend said there are more Asians in Hamburg, but Hamburg is too big, so you don't even notice. But here, everywhere I go, there are Asians, not to mention, Malaysians. While wandering the streets of Bremen, I found this.

The name sounds familiar

Lost Friend

2011-07-29T03:35:00.002+08:00

I once had a friend. A VERY good friend. I just loved her. But, one day, she decided to end the friendship. I just couldn't and can't understand her decision.

So, I decided to look for her. Yesterday was her birthday. I went to her house and put a birthday postcard in her letter box. I also included my phone number, in case she decided to stay in touch with me.

As expected, she didn't call. I tried dialing her number. I thought of hanging up once I heard her voice. But no, I spoke to her.

She recognized my voice straight away. She didn't sound pleased. At one point I just asked her "You don't want to talk to me?" She said she didn't know what to say.

Later she asked me, "do you hate me?" I said no. She said it was nice of me to not hate her after what she did.

Even so, our conversation lasted 11 minutes. I did cry and she noticed it. I think she cried as well, but she tried not to make me notice.

She didn't want to hang up and I don't know why. So, I hung up first. Before I hung up she said, "Good luck with your life without me"

27 hour journey

2011-07-25T15:56:00.003+08:00

I am waking up in Hamburg, Germany with my body aching all over. Well, I have traveled for more than 24 hours with my handbag on my shoulder, while dragging my heavy luggage.

I started my journey in Kuala Lumpur. I flew for about 13 hours to Paris Orly, France. From the airport I had to take several public transportation to get to the train station.

I got soo confused in France because of the language and was glad to leave it at 1 p.m. I took a four-hour train to Frankfurt Main main train station.

From there, I took another train to Hamburg. Finally. By the time I arrived Hamburg, it was already 10.30 p.m.

I think because of the long journey, I don't experience jet lag.

Match made in heaven?

2011-07-20T02:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I went out with my mother and she wanted to go to this shop. Before she stepped out of the car, I saw a car just parked somewhere further back. From the rearview mirror, I could see that it was my father's car! The best thing was he went into the same shop my mother was about to go.

After six years of divorce, in fact the anniversary was exactly two weeks ago, they still bump into each other.

This wasn't the first time. They have bumped into each other at the bank, the supermarket and even on the road.

Towards the end

2011-06-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

It's the last day of the month and I'm heading towards the end of my six week internship as a reporter and also my bachelor's degree.

This morning I attended my last class of my three year degree and tomorrow will be my last day as an intern reporter.

Well, I still have a lot of paper work to do. I have to write reports on my internship and I still have my thesis pending.

But the thing is, my mind is elsewhere. It's in Germany to be exact.

I'm trying to bring it back to Malaysia because I need to have all of the paper work done in two weeks.

Double 2

2011-06-25T00:24:00.007+08:00

It's my double 2 birthday!

Whenever my birthday is near, I would always try to forget it. Especially, this year when I have sooo much to do.

But no, I kept getting reminders.

I wanted to forget my birthday because I wanted to be surprised when somebody called me or texted me.

So, shortly before midnight, I tried not to look at the clock, but then my phone gave me a reminder that it was my birthday.

So, double 2, I realize I have double of everything else, too.

At 22, I have two older sisters. Actually, I've always had two older sisters.

Me in between my older sisters

I also have two couples of little siblings.

Amalina and Zurkarnain

Adlina and Ziqry

Not to mention, two mothers.

Double blessing, perhaps? InsyaAllah.

The one and only

2011-06-24T23:08:00.003+08:00

Today as I was on my reporting duty, I spoke to this reporter from a newspaper. I'd seen her at a lot of other functions before, but I'd never properly introduced myself.

I told her that my name was Aimi. She said she had not heard the name for a long time because she used to have a friend named Aimi.

We talked and talked. We even went back to the past a little.

To our surprise, we were classmates in primary school AND I am actually the Aimi she used to know. What?!

I do but I don't

2011-06-02T23:54:00.002+08:00

I am currently interning at a news agency for a short period of six weeks. It's now my second week.

I love the job, but I want the internship to end soon.

I think I have a SERIOUS commitment issue.

Oh, brother!

2011-05-19T21:07:00.003+08:00

My lovely little brother is a teenager now. Being a teenage boy, he has this 'me against the world' attitude.

Out of so many family members of mine, I'm the one who can tolerate him.

Why? For obvious reasons.

First, he had the worst childhood. After he was born, my parents' marriage started to fall apart. Then, when he was 10, they divorced.

Secondly, all my sisters and I have gone through this stage of life. Now it's his turn, so let him be.

However, yesterday he did something that made me a little mad, that I don't feel like talking to him.

Today, he tries to 'win' me over. He tries to make conversations. He tries to make jokes.

It's funny though to see the softer side of him.

Don't be sad

2011-05-19T18:10:00.004+08:00

Whenever you're feeling down.

Whenever you're feeling stressed out.

Whenever you're feeling the world is not fair.

Just remember this,

"Don't be sad. Allah is with us" (9:40)

Source: islamisthetruth

Hand-phone

2011-05-15T10:36:00.005+08:00

I'm not best friends with my phone. I don't carry it around with me whenever I go.

That's why I always miss calls and reply late to SMS. The other thing with me, whenever I missed a call, I usually don't call back.

So, the other day, as always, my phone was not with me. As a result, I missed two calls from my potential employer!

This time, I made the effort to call back, but the person on the other line asked me to wait for their call.

My sister is always frustrated with me because of this. She said "that's why it's called HANDphone not room phone. It's for you to have it with you."

Milchreis

2011-05-11T21:11:00.002+08:00

Milchreis is a German delicacy and the name tells it all. It's milk with rice.

Wonder how it tastes like? Imagine eating your rice with milk, just that the rice is sticky and it's sweet.

How to make it? Instead of cooking the rice with water, you cook it with milk. Well, that's what my friend told me.

I'm not really a fan of milchreis because if you have too much of it, you will feel like throwing up.

Today, my brother made milchreis and he added Nutella and whip cream to it. It actually tasted REALLY good. Much better than the classic one.

Royal Birthday

2011-04-30T23:22:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was royal wedding. Today is the birthday of the princess in Alexandria.

Happy 19!

Beauty and the Beast

2011-04-18T00:30:00.004+08:00

My favourite movie of all time is Beauty and the Beast.

I love the leading female character, Belle. I think Belle is a very independent, smart and lovely woman.

If compared with other princesses like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, Belle doesn't wait to be saved by the guy. She is the one who saves the guy and breaks the spell for him.

I think my brothers love her as well.

Zurkarnain

Ziqry

Missing tooth

2011-04-17T01:49:00.004+08:00

On Friday, I went to the dentist. The last time I paid a visit to the dentist was in 1996.

To my surprise, I found out that I have a missing tooth.

At the opening of your mouth, you are supposed to have four teeth on the top and four teeth at the bottom. I only have THREE at the bottom.

The dentist asked me where it was. My answer was "I've never had it".

Dude, where's my car?

2011-03-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

My elder sister's car went missing. Just like that.

My sister had to work late yesterday and as she went to get her car after work, it was GONE!

The wait is over

2011-02-10T19:22:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah. The wait is finally OVER. This morning, my sister arrived in Malaysia after a few days seeking refuge in Jeddah.

I couldn't be happier. I still can't believe she's here. It's SURREAL.

I'm waiting...

2011-02-03T14:11:00.004+08:00

Time passes by so slowly, when you're waiting for someone. It's a GREAT torture.

I'm still waiting for my sister's safe return since Saturday. Help has arrived in Egypt but it still takes some time for the help to reach Alexandria. We thought she should be out of Egypt by today. But no, it is postponed to tomorrow, then to Saturday. The waiting time is getting longer and longer.

True friend

2011-02-01T08:36:00.004+08:00

A few days back my father had arranged for my little sister to come back to Malaysia. He talked to this man who could try to get tickets for the students. Yesterday, since things have cooled down a little, the man asked her if she still wanted a ticket- she said NO.

Why? Because she doesn't want to leave her housemate, Anisah, since the girl's father has asked Anisah to stay in Egypt. What a true friend! My sister met her housemate here in Malaysia, when they participated in a 'preparation to Egypt 'course. So, they have known each other for quite some time now.

For now, they are quite safe and are waiting for the Malaysian government to evacuate them. There's nothing else they can do but to stay put. That's the best. There's nothing we could do either but to pray for their safety.

I want a jet plane

2011-01-30T23:12:00.007+08:00

My sister is stuck in Alexandria, Egypt. Yesterday, a group of 16 students were sent to the airport to get home, yet they never got pass Alexandria. They were stuck in the airport until today that they have no choice but to stay in Alexandria.

My sister is safe now. She is gathered with other Malaysian students and it's quite safe since it's a larger group. Even so, I still want her to come back here so that I know for sure that she's fine. Is that too selfish of me?

I just wish I had a jet plane so that I can fly to Alexandria as fast as possible and get her home safely. Well, that's just a thought.

Let's all pray for the innocent people who are in the middle of this chaos. Pray that they will be able to come back and pray for their safe returns.

للَّهُمَّ لاَ سَهْلَ إِلاَّ مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً

“Oh Allah, there is no ease except in that which You have made easy, and You make the difficulty, if You wish, easy.”

Amiin

Come home

2011-01-30T01:59:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, the telephone line has been recovered. We got to contact my sister in Egypt and talked to her several times. Now, we are trying to get her back here.

InsyaAllah, if things go well, she will board a flight today. Actually, two flights. Whatever it is, I just hope she will arrive safely.

The situation in Egypt doesn't really seem to improve for now. If my sister were already here, I would prefer for her to stay. Just forget the education in Egypt. Her safety is more important for now.

Actually, I'm quite excited that she's coming back. Let's pray that everything goes well and that she will arrive safely. Amiiin.

Safety at stake

2011-01-29T14:44:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, my father called me and asked if I could get hold of my little sister cause he couldn't. He saw the news on Egypt and wanted her to get back to Malaysia as soon as she could.

So, I tried calling her. It was early in the morning in Egypt and she hadn't performed her prayer. I asked her to pray first and then come online. I waited for about two hours and she didn't come online. My guess was that she got back to sleep.

I called her again at about 8am (Egypt time) and she said she would come online immediately. I waited for a few minutes and she didn't come online. I called her again but this time I couldn't get through and I thought she got annoyed of me that she switched off the phone.

The whole day I waited and she didn't come online or reply my text messages. At about 9pm (Malaysian time), 3 pm Egypt time, I read the news and knew what was going on. There's been disruption of phone and internet service in parts of Egypt, including her area. Even so, I tried calling her again and again.

Later that night, I went to sleep and I dreamt of her. In my dream, my call got through and she also came online saying that everything was fine with her. The best part was, she came back to Malaysia.

This is my fault. I should have just told her everything on the phone, instead of asking her to come online. Well, that's in the past now. A day before yesterday she actually went out to stock up on her food cause she knew that she was going to be locked in the house for a while. I do believe that Allah will protect her and her housemate. Let's pray for their safety.

My sister and her housemate

2011 things to do

2011-01-23T07:33:00.005+08:00

2011 will be quite a year for me, especially in the 1st half. There are a lot of things that need to be done. Late of last year, I have purchased tickets to and fro Paris for July 2011. Obviously, it's not Paris that I really want to go. Because of this, I have to get done everything I want to get done before I leave for Europe.

First, if I were really moving, I should start packing my stuff now. Not only that, I also have to clear the apartment. Well, I don't think that's a problem. Just that settling down in the new house might takes time.

Secondly, I have to complete my studies. This includes five subjects, thesis and internship. Completing the five subjects should be fine. Thesis might be a problem, because my lecturer thinks that it is impossible to complete it by July. I don't care what he thinks, I just want to get it done before July. I will only be interning next semester, starting May. Internship doesn't take long, but I have to submit a report by the end of the semester. Completing the report is another issue, I don't want to think of.

Thirdly, my father wants me to get a German language certificate. To get the cert, I have to take an exam. In order to prepare for the exam, I have to take classes. The thing is, I don't know when to take them, because I don't want this to take away my focus on the thesis. Besides, the exam is in July and I'm quite scared I would forget everything if I took the classes too early. Another thing is, I will be taking the exam in Germany. That means, I have to be prepared before I get to Europe.

Lastly, after getting back from Europe, I have to look for a job, because I won't be going to school anymore.

It will be quite a ride and I pray that Allah will guide me in this. InsyaAllah, everything will be fine.

Moving away

2011-01-22T13:43:00.004+08:00

My father is moving to a much bigger house and he wants my elder sister and me to join him, so that the apartment can be rented. Well, we don't really want to move. For one thing, we LOVE the apartment too much, to let it go.

Let's look into the pros and cons of moving to this new house. First, I'll get my own room and I like the room. It's neither too big nor too small. Just nice for me. Second, I'll have proper meals, not like at the apartment, where we hardly eat. Third, I'll be closer to the Misfits. Hmm, anything else?

I think there are more cons to this. First, I'll have to drive. I can't take public transport anymore. If I do want to take public transport, I'll have to drive to the train station and park my car there. Either way, I'll have to drive. Second, if I drive, the traffic would be crazy in the morning cause the new house is quite further away from the highway. So, I'll be stuck in the jam before I even get to the highway. Third, if I drive, I'll have to get to the university early, even if my class is late, to be able to get parking. Forth, if I don't get there early, I'll have to park somewhere else, where the parking rate is higher. In a way, I'll have to discipline myself, to wake up early.

The apartment is convenient in a lot of ways. It takes me 10-15 minutes to get to the university during normal hours and about half an hour during peak hours. It's close to the train station and I could take any bus to get to the station. It's close to the highway. It's easy to get to anywhere.

As a conclusion, I don't see the good thing in moving. Driving is the HUGE issue here. There's a lot of things to think about when you drive. The traffic, toll, parking, time. That's why I prefer to take the public transport.

Well, I don't know. My father seems to be very excited about us moving in.

Final embrace

2011-01-11T21:25:00.004+08:00

It just occurred to me that exactly one year ago on this very same day, Sandra Wong gave me a very tight hug.

The hug was meant to be a greeting hug as we just saw each other after a long semester break. Sadly, it turned out to be a farewell hug.

Bad joke

2011-01-09T20:28:00.008+08:00

My half sister is VERY annoying that everyone has grown tired of her. So, I thought I would like to 'scare' her a little.

Yesterday, I went to this Japanese shop to buy a kite. Then, something caught my eye. It's a ninja mask! I thought my brother could wear it to scare her. So, I bought it and my brother thought it was a bad idea.

a quite similar ninja mask

Since my brother didn't want to do it, I wore the mask. I just sat there with the mask on and stared at her and she began to scream. I did it for a few times.

Now, she doesn't want to enter the room I am in anymore of 'fear' of the masked Aimi. It's worse that she doesn't even want to see me anymore because she keeps staying in her room where the baby is. The baby can't sleep when she's around.

At first I thought scaring her was funny. Now, I think it's a bad joke cause I don't think others think it's funny since she now disturbs the baby. And I don't feel like laughing anymore.

1.1.2011

2011-01-01T13:35:00.006+08:00

It's a brand new day in a brand new year. Let's be grateful that we are still here to see this day coming.

I choose not to have a new year's resolution as those who have one are most likely to not fulfill it.

Achievement of the year

2010-12-24T17:28:00.002+08:00

The most anticipated exam result of the year is out! And it is GREAT.

Yesterday, my brother shocked everyone by getting 8As and 1C in his PMR.

Now, I'm officially ranked lowest in the family. I hated school anyway.

The art of double-parking

2010-12-21T07:36:00.006+08:00

Double parking is something really common in Malaysia. But, it's something I won't do, unless I'm in the car, because I think it's an act of irresponsibility.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to visit my grandmother. I was there for a few hours. When I went to get my car, I found it to be double parked by a taxi. I got frustrated and being a HELP student, I looked for a number that I could call so that the person could remove the car. But there was none.

This is how the taxi blocked my car

I stood there for a while and suddenly I saw two men coming. One of the men went to the taxi, in front of the taxi which was blocking my car, and pushed it before getting in the car which was previously blocked by the taxi.

Then I thought, Why am I so stupid?. To not look stupid, I waited for the men to leave before I started to push the taxi which was blocking my car. Pushing a parked taxi is not an easy job.

So, if you want to double park, make sure you leave your hand break off, so that people could push your car to unblock their car. If not, you could leave an apology note with your phone number on the dashboard, like HELP students do. Better still, DON'T double-park.

End of the road

2010-12-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

Is there an end to this?

I'm TIRED.

Lost in translation

2010-12-01T00:44:00.003+08:00

Recently, I attended a family gathering and met this man, who is not really related to me as he is my grandaunt's little brother. My grandaunt is the wife of my grandfather's brother.

Anyway, he got to know about me and my knowledge in German. So, he suggested that I offer my service in translating to this particular institute. Later, he gave me the number of his contact in the institute and asked me to give her a call. I have yet to contact her.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm capable of translating. Understanding a language is one thing. Making someone else understand the language is another different thing. It's like telling a joke, which is not your own. The reaction you get from the person is different from your own reaction to the same joke.

Anyway, I'm not sure how this translating thing works, but I'm sure I'll get paid. Thinking about it, there's no harm in trying.

Running away

2010-11-27T16:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel like running away, leaving this place to a place where nobody knows my name. Where nobody can find me.

But, that would just be too selfish of me.

Letting go

2010-11-25T21:59:00.001+08:00

Liking what you see? Well, this is the second time I changed the design. The first time was with the help of Sandra Wong.

I tried to change a few times after that by myself, but it didn't work. I wanted to ask Sandra for help again, but I never got to ask her.

Then when she passed, I thought I wanted to keep the existing design because it was a part of her. Later I thought again, for how long? So, I decided to change the design on what would have been her 22nd birthday.

However, I couldn't change it on time. I had problems with changing the design. Whenever I changed, a part of the existing design remained. I tried a few designs and every time the design Sandra gave me won't go away. The design either stayed at the bottom of the page or at the side or elsewhere. I tried refreshing the page, but still the design was there.

It also happened with this design. So, I sat there trying to figure out what I did wrongly. I followed the direction given by the website I got the design from. After sitting there for quite some time, part of the initial design, which was dominating most of the page, disappeared. Just like that. I couldn't believe it at first. Then I tried refreshing. I even signed out and in again to confirm. It was gone for good.

Changing the design doesn't mean I want to forget Sandra Wong. She's THE Sandra Wong. She's a part of my youth that I don't think I would ever be able to forget.

Replacement

2010-11-13T21:48:00.003+08:00

Today, my uncle, who became a widower five months ago, got married. To be able to find a replacement in about five months is quite fast, isn't it? But, it's not something new in my family.

My father got married only after a year of my parents' divorce. My grandfather wasted no time to find a replacement when my grandmother passed.

The way I see it, their marriages have no value. If they value their previous marriages, maybe it would take them quite some time to finally open up to someone new. Is it a guy thing to find a replacement straight away? Can't guys just stay single?

Well, my maternal grandmother has been a single mother for more than 30 years and she's doing fine. My aunt was a single mother for almost ten years before she met her current husband. My mother has been single for five years and another aunt of mine has also been single for quite some time.

I talked to a friend about this and he told me that I didn't understand a guy's needs. What's there to understand? A woman has her needs, too. Maybe a man needs a woman more than a woman needs a man.

Being on-time

2010-11-05T01:27:00.004+08:00

Here's a quote I got from watching Royal Pains:

"When you're early, you're on-time. When you're on-time, you're late. When you're late, you're FIRED!"

Something to think about, right?

As for me, I don't like to be early cause I don't like to wait for others. I don't like to be on-time either cause I know people don't come on-time. I don't like to be late cause I don't like the idea of people waiting for me, especially Izzat, cause he complains.

So, when should I make an appearance?

Lost

2010-11-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

On my 14th birthday, Toni gave me the best present. It was something unexpected and very personal. I really appreciated the present. I kept it in my pants pocket all the time.

When I came back to Malaysia, I lost it once. I lost it for a few days before I found it again. When I saw Toni two years ago, I showed it to him. He was proud of me that I still had it with me. At that time I kept it in my purse.

Later the years, I had it in the pocket of my bag and whenever I was home I would take it out and put in on the shelf so that I could see it. I kept the present until my 21st birthday, which is for seven years long.

Unfortunately, in July this year, a month after my birthday, I lost it again. And this time, I think I've lost it for good. I noticed that it was gone, when I was in Singapore. So, I don't know if I lost it here or there. I've looked everywhere and I am left disappointed.

The sadder thing is, I don't even have a picture of it. I don't dare to tell Toni about the lost. Thinking of the bright side, maybe the lost is a blessing in disguise.

An early wish

2010-10-30T22:42:00.003+08:00

This morning I woke up and wrote on my MSN, "happy bday, hui!". Suddenly, he came online. So, I asked him, "Is your birthday today or tomorrow?". I was hoping the answer to be today, but he said "It's tomorrow". What an embarrassment!

To be honest, I'm not sure of the date since there are two 30s in October. Luckily I didn't send him a birthday wish at midnight. That would be more embarrassing.

Half-half

2010-10-30T10:32:00.005+08:00

I never thought at the age of 21 I would get little siblings again. I thought at this kind of age, I would have little nieces, nephews or maybe my own kids, yet at 21 I have not one, but two little half siblings.

To be honest, even when my little half sister, Adlina is already 2, I don't really acknowledge her as my sister. When people ask me how many siblings I have, I would say 5 instead of 6. I LOVE my little sister Amalina too much, that I would need another little sister.

Zurkarnain with Adlina

Recently, I went to Bandung to visit my step-mother and the new baby. Again, I wasn't excited when I held the baby. There wasn't any feeling. Before my brother, Zurkarnain, and I went to Bandung, he asked me "How do feel about the new baby? Are you excited?". I said "I don't feel anything. I already have a brother".

My half-brother

The new baby's name is Ziqry. I just realized, my half sister's name begins with an A, like Amalina and my half-brother's name begins with a Z, just like Zurkarnain. God is testing me.

15

2010-10-18T18:05:00.004+08:00

It's my brother's 15th birthday. Lucky for me, he LIKES the presents.

My bro opening his presents

It is also the day my step-mother gives birth to a boy. So, now we have two boys having the same birthday. It's funny though. My step-mother got to choose the date to give birth as she delivers through c-section and she chose the 18th. When asked why, she said she had a dream about it. Talking about a woman's instinct!

Boys with their toys

2010-10-14T14:37:00.006+08:00

My little brother is not so little anymore. He's turning 15 next week. So, I was wondering the whole time what I should get him. Last year, he was a Rubik's freak. For his birthday, I bought a collection of Rubik's cubes. I bought two ordinary ones and a few others, which are unique to me. I bought one sudoku cube. But, he wasn't impressed and he put the blame on me.

My lovely 'little' brother

This year, I don't want to get him something he won't like. So, I asked him what I should get him this year. His answer was "Surprise me". I argued, "What if you don't like what I get you?". He replied, "Don't get something soo predictable".

All the time, I had this jersey in my mind. My brother always wanted the away jersey of Chelsea football team, yet he still hasn't gotten it yet. If I were to buy him the jersey, it would be very obvious as I kept asking him about it. So, I thought that I had to come up with a plan B.

Chelsea away jersey

When I went present shopping yesterday, I had two things in my mind, first is the jersey and second is a school bag. My brother doesn't have a proper school bag. The one he has is out of shape. So, when I went into this particular store, I found a Chelsea bag. How great is that? It's a bag and it's a Chelsea merchandise. But, I didn't buy straight away. I went looking for the jersey anyway and I found it. My brother likes wearing something that fits his body perfectly. I asked for size, but there was no small size. Since there was no size, I had another reason not to buy the jersey. In the end, I decided to buy the Chelsea bag with a Chelsea water bottle. The bottle is additional, it can be used anytime, not necessarily for him to bring to school.

The presents I bought

Now the question is, how will he react to the presents? Will he say, "Aimi, you're soo predictable" or "Just because I like Chelsea, it doesn't mean you have to get me two things of Chelsea"? Will he give me a blank stare of disappointment or will he just LOVE it? I'm scared to find out. Let's wait for Monday.

"Is that the best you can do, Aimi?"

October's joy

2010-10-01T22:50:00.002+08:00

So, it's the 1st day of October. Yesterday, the last day of September was my dearest Anis' 21st birthday, being not-so-good cousin, I didn't prepare anything for her. SORRY!!! I'll make it up to you.

Yesterday was also the day another cousin of mine of the same family, gave birth to her 1st daughter. Anis is also the 1st daughter of her family. What a coincidence!

My grandmother is still very healthy, so she has become a great-grandma. Our family has four generations now.

Wrong place at the wrong time?

2010-09-24T11:58:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was pretty much a confession day or letting-out-your-feelings day. Two of my friends told me their issues, which made me feel guilty that I'm in Malaysia and not in Germany with them. At times like these, I really wonder what I am doing here in Malaysia.

Chun Chun has a lot of issues. It's actually hard to get her to tell everything. Only years after knowing her did she open up to her issues or rather her past. I felt guilty for leaving her alone, but I have enough issues in Malaysia, which I'm still figuring out how to deal with. So, the least I could do for Chun Chun is sending postcards every now and then.

Chun Chun

Ann Kathrin's issues are more shocking to me. I couldn't believe that something like that could happen. But she seems to be dealing with her problems well, but still not good enough.

I feel like going to Germany to be with them. It's not that I can solve their problems but at least I could offer them a hug or something.

The road to Egypt

2010-09-21T23:28:00.004+08:00

Off she went to the land 10 hours away- Egypt. All day I tried to hold back my tears, but they came flowing anyway.

Amalina leaving with her roommate

Going to Egypt is a GREAT escape for my little sister. There's just TOO MUCH pressure here in Malaysia.

Amalina with me and Zurkarnain, who are left behind

I'm happy for her, but obviously I'm sad as well.

Yes, you do

It's going to be a sad night

2010-09-20T10:25:00.002+08:00

Tonight will be the night my little sister leaves for Egypt. She will be studying medicine there for 6 years. I don't know if I can handle her not being around. It's going to be tough.

Me with Amalina and Zurkarnain

This is for you!

2010-08-28T15:12:00.004+08:00

Dear Izzat,
this is you in your snuggie.

Izzat and his snuggie

Well, it doesn't look that great. You look like Edward Cullen in the face and I don't even know if you liked green. Anyway,

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

Experience Singapore

2010-08-03T01:58:00.002+08:00

Singapore was GREAT! I thought it was a small city and that we could walk from one end to the other in just one day, just like what Shang Hui said, but four days and four nights weren't enough. There were a lot more to see and explore. I didn't know Singapore was that interesting.

Food
The food in Singapore is no different from that in Malaysia, however it has much better quality. The food tastes better, has larger portion and much cheaper, too.

Space
I love to see how Singapore makes use of the space it has. Singapore is a very small country, yet there are a lot of buildings. There are a lot of shopping malls on Orchard Road alone. It is even different from Hamburg town.

Cleanliness
Singapore is very clean. You will get fined, if you litter or even chew gum. My father cleaned his car of fear being fined for driving a dirty car.

Pedestrian friendly
I love to walk than drive and that's one of the reasons I love Singapore. For one, the roads are very pedestrian friendly. Almost every traffic light has a pedestrian traffic light, unlike in Malaysia, where only certain places have it.

Where there are no traffic lights, drivers would stop to give way to pedestrians. But that depends on individuals, some don't give way. Still better than Malaysia, where pedestrians are being honked at, even at the zebra crossing.

I was told that if you were to cross the road where there are no proper crossings, you would get fined, even when you're a foreigner.

Safety
Singapore is very safe. I wasn't afraid to walk outside at night. Crime rate is low in Singapore. Because of their tight rules, people are afraid to commit crime.

Welcome to Singapore

2010-07-28T18:51:00.002+08:00

I'm in Singapore! This is the 2nd Asian country that I visit, with Indonesia being the 1st.

Before I arrived, I thought that Singapore was just like Malaysia with very minor differences. But, I was totally wrong! Even when Singapore used to be a part of Malaysia, Singapore is nothing like Malaysia. Even the language is different.

The Malay is much simpler and conversational unlike the Malaysian Malay. Words are written as they are spoken. In Malaysian Malay 'for' is spelt 'untuk', but read as 'untok' just like the Singaporean Malay for the same word.

Singaporeans are known to be 'kiasu', but are they really? Well, the roads in Singapore are only written as Rd and Jln, whereas in Malaysia, they are written in full. Who's 'kiasu' now?

World Cup final

2010-07-12T23:11:00.005+08:00

The European champion is now also the World champion. With only a single goal, Spain took home the World Cup trophy. Congratulations, Spain!

Spain team with the World Cup trophy

Despite their failure to make it to the World Cup final, both Uruguayan Diego Forlan and German Thomas Müller went home with something to be proud of. Forlan is chosen as the winner of the Golden Ball award, while Müller is the winner of the Golden Boot and the Best Young player award, both of which won by German Klose and Podolski in World Cup 2006.

Thomas Müller

Even when Spain is the World champion, Germany scored, with 16 goals, the most goals. Another thing to be proud of.

Proud Jogi Löw

World Cup 2010 is over. There were a lot of controversies along the way, from Frank Lampard disallowed goal to Luis Suarez' replacing the goalkeeper to deny the goal by Ghana's Asamoah Gyan. Strong teams didn't perform like they were expected to and weak or unknown teams emerged to knock the strong teams down. In the end, the title is won by a team that had waited for years. Overall, it was an unpredictable World Cup.

Germany vs Uruguay

2010-07-11T22:52:00.005+08:00

3 is Germany's lucky number for last night's match, when they beat Uruguay 3-2 to obtain the 3rd place position.

I think Joachim Löw believes in giving people chances. So, for this match he decided to let four of his best players, Lahm, Klose, Podolski and even the goalkeeper, Neuer, sit and sent in four substitutes, Aogo, Cacau, Jansen and goalie Butt. Since both Ballack and Lahm were out, the captaincy was given to Bastian Schweinsteiger.

Bastian Schweinsteiger

As always the person to initiate the goals was Thomas Müller at the 18th minute, after Bastian Schweinsteiger's failed attempt. That goal didn't demotivate the Uruguay team. Ten minutes after Germany's 1st goal, Uruguay scored theirs. The score was 1-1 for the 1st half.

Thomas Müller's goal

During the 2nd half, Uruguay initiated the goals after the famous Diego Forlan scored his 5th goal for this World Cup. That didn't stop the German team. Five minutes later, Marcell Jansen's header equalized the score.

That must have hurt so GOOD for Marcell Jansen

The game was tight. Both teams were fighting their way to the 3rd place. But, it was Germany's Sami Kedhira's first and last goal for the World Cup that put Germany in the 3rd place.

Khedira celebrating his goal with Mertesacker

Seconds away to full time, Arne Friedrich got a yellow card, which gave the Uruguay team a free kick. They could easily score an equalizing goal, but Forlan kicked too high, giving Germany the win.

3rd place is not as good as the World champion title, but the German team didn't embarrass their country by going home too early like other strong teams. They fought to the end. All of the German players were given the chance to show off what they got on field, even for seconds, except for Tim Wiese. So, he got the bronze medal without having to do anything, except for cheering for the team from the side.

The whole German team with their medals

2010 is not the year for Germany to bring home the World champion title afterall, despite what people or animals predict. So, which team will bring home the title tonight?

Germany vs Spain

2010-07-08T07:10:00.005+08:00

The Euro 2008 final DID repeat itself and so, Germany's dream of becoming the champion of 2010 World Cup is shattered. Well, that's okay. Germany has appeared a lot of times in the World Cup finals. Now is the time to give someone else the chance. Spain has NEVER made it to World Cup finals and Holland's last appearance in World Cup finals was back in 1974, where they lost against Argentina.

The German team congratulating the Spanish team

I think Germany's game against Spain was badly played. Both teams didn't perform. They were focusing more in defending, rather than attacking or scoring. But, Spain got lucky when they got the corner kick.

Disappointed German team

Where were the German heroes? They didn't stand out like they should. Where was Podolski? Where was Klose? I know Müller was sitting in the audience wishing he was on the field.

The German team is not going home just yet. They still have one game to go, against Uruguay, to grab the 3rd place. 3rd place will be like World Cup 2006 all over again, but it's good enough. The game will be aired on Saturday 20:30 in Germany and Sunday 2.30 am in Malaysia.

We're proud of you

So, who will win the title this year? Germany lost to Brazil in 2002 World Cup final and Holland managed to beat Brazil in this year's quarter-finals. Can they do it against Spain? The final game will be a day after Germany's game against Uruguay. We'll have to wait and see.

For Your Entertainment

2010-07-08T01:14:00.006+08:00

The World Cup is coming to an end. How sad, because football is definitely an entertaining game to watch. It's not like I watch other games. What about this game that makes it soo entertaining?

Men can fly
When you watch football, you will believe that men can actually fly. Be it while kicking, heading or tossing the ball. You can see different types of 'flying' just in a game of football.

Look how high he flies

Bromance
In football, you can see guys hugging, kissing and standing up for each other. These don't only happen among team members, sometimes among rivals, too.

Love between Neuer and Klose

Jersey
I thought the jersey is made to represent the country. Therefore, I thought the jersey has to have the colours of the national flag. However, a country is very well known for its jersey, which is in a very striking colour, which is not even in the flag.

Netherland Oranje team

Celebration
Different player has different way of celebrating his goal. Be it jumping on his team member, sliding across field, dancing or even jumping into the crowd.

Arne Friedrich's way of celebrating his 1st ever goal

Commentator
What's a football game without the commentator? The commentator knows the name of all the players plus their backgrounds and histories. Sometimes, he makes fun of the players based on what they say during press conferences.

Germany vs Argentina

2010-07-04T23:09:00.007+08:00

With four goals and none in return, the Germans have sent the Argentine home and booked themselves a place in the semi-finals.

Bye Maradona

The guy has done it again! At as early as the 3rd minute, Thomas Müller headed the ball by Bastian Schweinsteiger into the Argentine goal, giving the German team a lead in the game. Sadly, not long later, he was given a yellow card for a hand ball. This is his second yellow card, which means he will miss the semi-finals.

Thomas Müller scoring the 1st goal

During the 2nd half, Miroslav Klose got lucky, when the Argentine cleared their goal, giving him way to score with ease. He didn't even have to kick the ball. All he did was running with the ball towards the goal.

What an easy goal!

The next goal was a surprise to everyone, even the scorer. It was accidental that the defender, Arne Friedrich, kicked the ball passed by Schweinsteiger into the Argentine goal. It is his 1st goal in his 10-year career as a national football player.

Arne Friedrich's goal

The final goal was scored shortly before full time. It was a team effort and the man who scored it was Miroslav Klose again, making it his 4th goal for this World Cup.

Klose's triumphant look with disappointed Messi in the background

4 is definitely Germany's lucky number for this year's World Cup. They scored four goals against Australia, England and Argentina. Both Thomas Müller and Miroslav Klose have scored four goals for the team. The Germans are also one of the four teams to make it to the final.

The next game will be against Spain on Wednesday 20:30 German time and Thursday 2.30pm Malaysian time. I hope Euro 2008 final won't repeat itself. The German team can do better than that.

Germany vs England

2010-06-28T00:04:00.006+08:00

The Germans have done it again! With four goals, they have sent the English back home and securing themselves a place in the quarter finals.

At the 20th minute, Miroslav Klose went against all odds to score the 1st goal for the team. What a come back!

Klose making his way to the goal

Lukas Podolski, who was in hiding during the last game, proved to the German media that he is not 'lazy' like they reported, when he scored the second goal at the 32nd minute.

Podolski looking proud

Right after the second goal, the English team fought back and managed to score a goal. Not long after that, Frank Lampard kicked the ball into the goal, which went slightly pass the border, but it bounced and hit the goal bar, before it was caught by the German goalie, Manuel Neuer. The goal was denied by the referee. That incident has created a dissatisfaction among the English supporters and it will haunt the English forever.

The goal that didn't happen

During the second half, Thomas Müller scored two goals, one after another, in only two minutes interval, making it four goals for the German team.

Müller's goal

There was only one yellow card given out during the game and it was for Arne Friedrich, who was messing around with English Wayne Rooney.

Müller with Friedrich

The game sure was a controversial one because of the denied goal. England supporters have even created a Facebook group due to this. However, if the goal was counted, the English team would lose anyway, or not?

Lampard's disappointed look

Germany will be playing against Argentina on Saturday, 3 July 2010 at 16:00, German time and 10pm, Malaysian time. Argentina is a strong team. I don't know what to expect. Hopefully, the Germans can send the Argentinians home like what they did to the English.

21

2010-06-25T14:43:00.005+08:00

Yeah. Yeah. It's Michael Jackson's 1st death anniversary. Radio stations are playing his songs. A year ago, Wei Lian joked about buying me Michael Jackson's CD on his 1st death anniversary. Well, I don't think I want it. I don't mind the t-shirt, though.

Anyway, it's my 21st birthday! I'm grateful to Allah, for giving me another year to live and breathe. I'm grateful to still have both of my parents plus one, when my cousins have just lost their mother. I'm grateful to have people that care for me. I'm grateful to have health, education, food. I'm grateful to have everything that I have. Alhamdulillah.

Thank you to my dear cousins, Anis and Adib for the present. I haven't unwrapped it yet. And I LOVE the card. I love you, too.

Present from Anis and Adib

Thank you, Misfits, for spending your precious time with me. I know you guys were tired, especially you, Shang Hui. Thank you for the lovely card, Fatina and Farahin! Especially, your art work on the envelope, Fatina. Izzat, I LOVE the 'hugging mug'. I know you couldn't be there, but GOOD LUCK with your assignment, Alvin. Thank you for the wish! And, Jason? You might be busy with exams. Anyway, love you people.

Presents from Misfits

I have thought of my wish for this birthday. I wish to have good relationships with those around me. With God, my family and my friends. Amiiiin.

Germany vs Ghana

2010-06-24T18:07:00.005+08:00

The men in black team has topped Group D and made it to the next round! The guy who was trying so hard to score goals during the last matches, finally made it! It was Mesut Özil's first ever World Cup goal at the 60th minute that has secured Germany a place in the top 16.

Özil being swarmed by his teammates

When asked who would replace Klose for this match, the coach, Joachim Löw, didn't give a straight answer and just praised Badstuber. However, he let Badstuber sit on the bench for this match. Instead, he placed Cacau and Boateng. It's funny, Boateng has a brother in the Ghana team. So, he had to play against his own brother.

Joachim Löw

Both teams were equally good. However, the German defense team have done a better job. Only one yellow card was given out to the German team and it was for Müller, who was later replaced by Trochowski. I was wondering where Lukas Podolski was. He didn't stand out as he was in the last game.

Germany is playing against England on Sunday, 27th June 2010 at 16:00 German time and 10pm Malaysian time. England better watch out!

Germany's goal of triumph

Germany vs Serbia

2010-06-19T01:07:00.004+08:00

What a disappointment! Numerous yellow cards, a red card, numerous opportunities and NO goal.

It was the match of the yellow cards. 9 cards were given out and 5 of them were for Germany. Those who received the yellow cards, are among the strongest players. Khedira, Schweinsteiger and even the captain, Lahm. Miroslav Klose received 2 yellow cards in a row, resulting in a RED card. It happened during the first half, so the German team had to play the entire game a man short.

Red card for Klose

Lukas Podolski, who scored for the last match had a lot of opportunities to score for this match. Yet, he blew all of his chances. Even, the penalty kick! He managed to score a goal, but sadly, it wasn't counted because it happened at an offside.

From four goals to NO goals. Better luck next time!

Max

2010-06-17T07:28:00.007+08:00

Max is my display name on my MSN messenger. Some people were asking me, "Sooo, who's Max?". It's me, of course. After all, it's my messenger and my display name. Who else could it be?

Max is the nickname I created for myself, when I was in my early teen, for Irina, Chun Chun and Taranom to call me. But now, even other people are starting to call me Max.

I like the name because it has an M, just like my name Aimi. It also has an X, which I think is unique because X is not a widely used alphabet. There are not very many words you can form with X, compared to words with A. I also like the name because it is one syllable. I like names with two syllables because it's easy to remember. But one syllable is even better.

So, where did the name come from? I got it from the TV series, Dark Angel, starring Jessica Alba as Max. I used to be really loyal to the series. I watched it every Tuesday, 20:15 on VOX. But to be honest, I didn't understand the story. It was futuristic and complicated.

Jessica Alba the Dark Angel

Guys my age

2010-06-17T00:18:00.011+08:00

I was watching the Forbes List Top 100 Who Made Bank the other day, when I noticed a guy my age, who was listed. He made 25 million dollars during the period of June 2008 to June 2009. That's more than bank! The guy I am talking about is none other than the guy who plays the wizard with a scar on the forehead, Daniel Radcliffe.

Daniel Radcliffe

Daniel has been playing Harry Potter since 2001. It has been nine years. He practically grew up in the movie. He has an individual portrait in Britain's National Portrait Gallery. He is the first non-royal to have his portrait there. Wow! Britain is treating him like royalty.

Another guy my age is Bill Kaulitz. Even when Bill and his twin brother are in the same band, he is more popular than his brother. For one thing, the singer gets more attention than the guitarist. Another thing, Bill has other projects beside making music. He is involved in the fashion industry and has lent his voice to the German version of the animated movie called 'Arthur And The Invisibles'. Bill also has his own wax figure in Madame Tussauds Berlin.

Bill Kaulitz

Next guy is Thomas Müller, who made headlines recently for scoring his first international goal at the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Thomas is the youngest player of the national team. Besides the national team, he also plays for Bayern München team as a midfielder.

Thomas Müller

I'm not writing this because I'm jealous of the money they make. Money makes people do ridiculous things. I heard that Daniel bought a thousands-over dollar mattress. A mattress? It must be REALLY comfy.

I was just thinking, how they could have time to do such interesting things, when we were going to school and studying for exams. It's not like they didn't go to school. Bill and his twin planned to do their Abitur (SPM). I don't know if they did, though. But if they did, it must have been really stressful. They had to juggle their career and school. Sometimes, I think school alone is stressful. I'm grateful that I'm not them cause I'm bad at time management.

Germany vs Australia

2010-06-14T06:49:00.000+08:00

Germany is officially the top scorer for this year's FIFA World Cup. For now. The team scored a total of four goals in the match against Australia.

At as early as 7:44, Lukas Podolski scored the first goal for the country, after receiving the ball from Thomas Müller. At the 23rd minute, Miroslav Klose made an attempt, yet failed. At minute 26, he headed the ball into the goal, with the goal keeper being away from the goal and scored the second goal. Germany scored 2-0 at the 1st half.

Klose and Podolski

During the 2nd half, 20year-old Thomas Müller scored another goal for the country. After the goal, Joachim Löw decided to replace Klose with Cacau. His decision paid off when Cacau scored the fourth goal for Germany, after only 2 minutes on the field.

The national German team has a lot of new faces. Not to mention a 'Neuer' goalie. I can't help but to notice Mesut Özil, who was quite an attention seeker. He was trying hard to score, yet it wasn't successful. However, he managed to get a yellow card at minute 11.

Mesut Özil

Another new face is Thomas Müller, what a typical German name, who contributed a lot to the scoring of goals. He was the one that passed the ball to Podolski, who then scored the first goal. Müller made a lot of attempts to score, but was only successful at the 68th minute.

Germany has a good start in this year's World Cup, even without Michael Ballack.

Is 2010 the year for Germany?

2010-06-13T21:31:00.001+08:00

The FIFA World Cup fever is on! The question is will Germany bring home the title after 20 years of waiting? And how would the team spirit be without the captain, Michael Ballack?

Michael Ballack

Michael Ballack will not be joining the national team due to an ankle injury. That's just sad. He is the reason I support the team. Now he is being replaced by the little Philipp Lahm. He is not bad, either. But, it surely won't be the same without Ballack.

Philipp Lahm

Last two world cups that I watched, the German team didn't manage to bring home the title. They didn't even get to repeat the 1974 history at the last World Cup, which took place at their homeland. Nevertheless, they performed well by taking the second and third place at the 2002 and 2006 World Cup respectively.

A German Mathematician predicted that Germany will be taking home the title this year. But, what can mathematics equations prove? It's all up to fate.

So, will Germany be the 'Welt Meister' this year? We'll wait and see. The first match will take place at, German time, 20:30 today and Malaysian time, 2.30 am tomorrow.

Commitment

2010-06-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

Some people say I have commitment issue. Come to think of it, I do think I have serious commitment issue. I don't like the idea of something being long-term. I don't even like something that is short-term, yet over a long period of time. Sometimes, I think 1 hour is too long.

I can't stay at one place. If I sleep on the right side of the bed today, tomorrow I would probably sleep on the left side. During my high school years, I changed school almost every year. I went to a total of five different schools in two different countries and three different states.

I rarely read books. If you start reading a book, you have to stay with the book for quite some time. I can't do that. I would probably start reading the first few chapters and leave it for years. I almost finished reading 'the Hobbit' a few years ago. Until now, I still don't know how the story ends. I have all the Harry Potter series, except for the latest one and I have only read two and a half of them.

I don't usually follow TV series. There are a lot of TV series nowadays, which people go crazy about. They watch them seasons after seasons. I don't like the idea of waiting for a new season. Somehow, I only follow those that have been canceled. No matter how I like a TV series, I would be glad, whenever it is being canceled. Whenever a series ends, I don't have to wait for a new season and I don't have to wonder what would happen in the end.

Life- canceled after 2 seasons

I like changes in my life. I don't like something to continue on. I like it to end or evolve. When I was in school, I counted down the time for the last bell to ring. During my last year in school, I couldn't wait for school to finally end. Even during my one and a half years of A-levels, I was hoping for it to end as soon as possible.

To me, it is a kind of pressure to be in the same situation or routine for quite some time. Even watching a 3-hour movie makes me feel stressed, no matter how good the movie is.

June is here

2010-06-02T01:27:00.000+08:00

It's June. I don't know if it's my favourite or least favourite month. I know my birthday is nearing and I usually get emotional when my birthday is coming.

Lately, I haven't been updating my blog much. I had a lot of ideas, yet i didn't get them into words. I think I have to start writing again, if I'm serious into making this my future career.

Jun. June. Juni. What do you hold for me? What should I be expecting in this new month? I know Izzat is coming back this month. I'm looking forward to that.

I think I need colours in my life. I need some excitement. I should be doing something beyond the ordinaries. But, I notice I'm becoming lazier each day. That's not good.

Changes need to be made. I woke up early today and didn't continue sleeping after that. I was able to reply Fatina's SMS early in the morning. Well, that's a start, but not good enough because I didn't do something productive after that.

Tomorrow's a brand new day. Let's start again.

Reunion

2010-05-31T00:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my family was awoken by a shocking news. My father's oldest brother's wife passed away at as early as 4 in the morning. She died in her hometown, Terengganu. After hearing the news, my family together with my father's sister drove to Terengganu.

Actually, my uncle and his family went back to Terengganu from KL to visit my grandfather. Little did they know that the trip was going to be more than that.

When we arrived my aunt's family home in Terengganu, I saw my cousin, who is the youngest son of my uncle and his wife. Just by looking at him, I felt like crying. My cousin is a special need child. He is not disabled in any way, but his mind doesn't develop like ours. No matter how old he gets, he is childlike. That's my aunt's explanation to his condition. Even so, he is a very polite young man. With his mother gone, we don't know how his life would be.

When we entered the house, we were greeted by my long lost cousin, the daughter of the deceased. That's when I started to cry. Then, I finally got to meet the cousin I mentioned earlier. We just hugged without saying much.

In Islam, the funeral has to take place as soon as possible. But, my uncle decided to wait until about 4 pm as his eldest son would be coming. He is also the eldest grandchild of the Wan family. My cousin had been in hiding for 10 years or more. The news that he would be coming excited everyone. Even my father could not wait to finally see him again.

The highlight of the day was when my cousin finally appeared. He looked as handsome as we remembered, but too skinny. My sisters and I were thrilled to see him, but we didn't get the chance to talk to him. He spoke briefly to my grandfather though and that made my grandfather happy.

We spent the night at my grandfather's. He said that if this didn't happen, we wouldn't be in Terengganu spending time with him. Even my eldest cousin wouldn't be there. What he said made me feel guilty somehow. But it has truth in it.

All three of my aunt's children were present at her funeral. All of my siblings were there, too. Only two of my uncles were not there due to work. It's funny how something like this has to happen for the family to be united again.

Interview

2010-04-22T02:04:00.001+08:00

A few weeks back, I went to meet some Myanmar refugees living in Malaysia. The meeting was arranged by a UN worker. My lecturer and classmate were the ones who managed to contact him and got him to arrange the meeting.

Before we went, I had actually lost the mood to go. The purpose of us going was to study the people in order to carry out a presentation, but my group mates and I had already done research and found a lot of things about the refugees which we could use for the presentation. So, I didn't see the purpose of going anymore at that point. Nevertheless, I went anyway.

I knew it was going to be an interview session with the refugees, yet, I prepared nothing. My Swiss teammate wanted to do the interview with me and she prepared some questions. So I thought, I could just use her questions. And that's what I did.

When we arrived, we were separated into four group, so that it would be easier for us to carry out the interview. As promised, I was with my Swiss teammate. Our other team members were in a different group.

The refugees understood Malay, so the interview was in Malay. At the beginning, I didn't know where to start cause my lecturer was sitting with us and I got nervous. When she was gone, I started the interview. I used the questions my teammate prepared. We had two refugees with us, so I made sure that I didn't let one of them feel left out. I took turns between the two or asked both of them the same question at the same time. As the interview went on, I came out with my own questions. It's like writing, once you've started, ideas will come to you.

Sadly, my friend didn't understand anything they said. So, after I asked a question and got the answer, I translated it into German for her. She then wrote the answer down and gave her reaction to the answer. Basically, she just used her body language to communicate with the refugees.

I really enjoyed the interview. Actually, I think I enjoy interviewing people. I have had interviews before which also went well and I had fun. This is something about myself which I discovered that day. I also didn't think I could be an translator because I don't really like translating for people. But I did it.

Even my lecturer was surprised by my performance during the interview because I'm rather quiet in class. I only speak when I need to. So, she thought I was outspoken that day and she actually told it to the class when I wasn't around.

Conflict-free year

2010-03-25T02:07:00.000+08:00

Last year was a black year for me. My sister and I did not talk to each other for almost a YEAR. I have had a lot of black years in my life. In 2004, my parents did not talk to each other for almost a year. A few years prior, in 1998, they separated (NOT divorced) for a month. At that time, I laughed and thought it was funny, cause back then I understood nothing about relationships. Looking back, it wasn't funny. It was one of the horrible times of my life.

Being in a conflict is not fun. Even when you think that the other party is at fault and that they should be the one who apologizes, the fact is, you suffer inside. Not talking to someone for a long period of time, pretending the person is not there, is hurtful. To cure the pain, you need to make things right, but the EGO inside of you says "DON'T!". Listening to your EGO, hurts you even more.

So, this year I have decided to not get involved in any kinds of conflict with anyone. I want this year to be a year of change-a peaceful year. I did not write this as a new year's resolution for 2010, but I want to implement the idea.

Even though it's only the 3rd month of the year, there were times this year that I almost got into arguments. However, I just let the other party win. There's no use of getting into conflicts. I don't think I can handle conflicts.

I guess that's the reason I don't want to be someone's girlfriend. Yes, I was involved in a relationship not long back and I ended it over just ONE minor misunderstanding. One misunderstanding could lead to other misunderstandings in the future. So, why bother carrying on with the relationship? Thinking back, I have disappointed him as he had high expectations of the relationship and I ended it over something silly.

Well, that's just me. I can't handle conflicts. I can't afford to be in a conflict. I guess I just don't want history to repeat itself.

Happy Birthday to you!

2010-03-03T00:54:00.000+08:00

Today is the birthday of a few people I know. One of them is Ili Hasinah, the person I have known since 1997. She turned 21.

Ili and me

So, Happy Birthday to you! Love you.

Listen

2010-02-27T07:44:00.000+08:00

Listen to me
even if it's difficult
even if you're unable to
even if you disagree
even if you know the story
because only by listening will you gain a deeper understanding.

This is a commercial by Prudential, which I like very much. I even used the commercial for my ad critique assignment.

I think listening is the most important element of a relationship, regardless of what kind of relationship it is. Be it friendship, parents and kids, siblings, anything at all. I don't think we are able to understand someone, if we are the ones talking and not taking any time or initiative to listen to what the other person has to say.

One of the reasons why our family fell apart is not listening. Nobody ever listens. Nobody wants to listen. Everybody wants to speak. This only creates noise. In the end, the problem is not solved. Until today, conflicts still happen.

I created this blog to voice out my feelings, my opinions, my views on things. Why? Because I don't think anyone listens at home. I don't really expect people to read my blog, unless they really care about me. But, I still want to write for the satisfaction of letting out what I want to say.

If your relationship is in trouble, why not take a time to listen? Maybe the other person has better ideas and opinions than you do.

Google

2010-02-18T09:58:00.000+08:00

I once googled myself to know what people can find out about me on the net. I tried different combination of my name. I tried Aimi Wan, Wan Aimi and even WanAimi. Yet, I found nothing. Not my Facebook page and not my blog. So, I was relieved. I am a mysterious person on the net.

Recently, I met Fatina. She told me that she actually googled my name and found me. So, I tried googling myself again. Again, I didn't find my Facebook page nor my blog. I actually found my name and the school I went to on a German website. I did sign up for an alumni-like site, but my name appeared on a different site. Funny how your name can travel on the net.

I also found some interesting people with the same name. I found a Wan Aimi whose father has the exact same name with my father. I also found another Wan Aimi who is married to an Izzat. I know that's not me.

I always thought my name was unique. With Google, I got to find out that it is not. Nevertheless, I still like and appreciate the name.

Time Capsule 2

2010-02-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

The Misfits have decided to create another time capsule since Alvin and Jason were not present when we created the 1st one. So, yesterday, we buried another set of memories away. I thought this time only Izzat would not be there, however, two more were absent; Farahin and Alvin. Fatina didn't even bother to tell me at first place.

This time around, I chose to put 11 things inside. Everything represented something or someone. I put a photo album of the Misfits. That represented everyone.

The whole process did not take as long as the first time. I think because we started around 10am and it was getting hot and we just wanted to be done with it.

Surprisingly, I didn't get emotional like the last time. I should have gotten emotional since I put a lot of things inside.

The location we picked makes me worried. For one thing, the place is kind of public. I'm scared that we would get sued or something. We actually wrote our phone numbers, which makes it easy for people to find us. Since it is a public place, I'm also scared that people will find it. After all, the hole is not that deep. I'm scared they would keep the things and care less to contact us. What if they read the letters we wrote to ourselves? We would be a laughing material.

I do think there would be a third time capsule since Alvin wasn't around when we had the first two. I hope everyone would be present the next time. No more missing person the next time.

Happy 19th Birthday, Toni!

2010-01-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

I think it's time to move on to a happier happening. It's Toni's birthday again! The first birthday wish post I wrote was for Toni. Now it's time for another birthday wish.

Dear Toni,

This is for you. Happy 19th Birthday! Hab dich lieb.

PS: I didn't make the card. I just altered it.

Last day

2010-01-18T02:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the day that Sandra Wong was finally laid to rest. Her story was published in The Star newspaper. Reading the article, I found out that she actually donated her cornea and bone marrow. Just last year she donated some blood.

At about 1pm or so, Sandra's body was brought to the crematorium to be cremated.

I still think of her these few days. I just can't look at her pictures. I prefer not to put her pictures in my posts. It's hard. It makes me want to cry.

So Long, Goodbye

2010-01-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

This is my last present to my dearest Sandra Wong. I love her.

I went to see Sandra today. When I saw her, I couldn't help it but to cry. I turned around and there stood her sister. I hugged her tightly. She said to me, "it's ok". I was supposed to say those words to her. She must be sadder than me.

Sad new semester

2010-01-14T23:47:00.001+08:00

I was watching TV when I decided to go into the room to perform my prayer. When I was in the room, I saw a miscall on my phone from Wei Lian. I called her back. She spoke softly and all I heard was 'Sandra'. I thought does she want to talk to Sandra? Then, there was silence. Wei Lian asked where I was. I said I was home. She continued "Sandra passed away, Aimi". I went "WHAT?!".

After the phone conversation with Wei Lian, I called another classmate of ours to inform her the news. Like me, she too, was surprised. Then, I called my good friend Ili who knows Sandra. She asked me to find out if it was a prank. I was about to call Christine when I received a message from her confirming the news. After all that, I just sat there. I didn't know how to react.

I thought of how I just met Sandra on Tuesday. I was at the stairway looking at the notice board when someone called me from behind. It was Sandra Wong. I went to her and we hugged. It was a tight hug. I didn't know it was going to be the last.

I thought of how we first met. We met during Sociology. I sat in front of her. I turned around and there were some friendly people, Sandra included. They asked me my name and when I said my name, they began laughing. I don't know why but I think it had to do with the previous class. Sandra was with 3 other girls. We had to make up a group of 3 people. The 3 girls decided to be in a group. Sandra said to me, "then, I'll be in your group". Just like that. We had just met each other.

I thought of how she is never satisfied with herself. She thinks other girls are prettier than her. I think she is pretty as she is. In fact, I think she got prettier over the semesters.

I thought of how she actually made me talk to people that I had never spoken to before, if not for her. She made me talk to Christine, Nelson, Jia Liang and some other people. Even in her death, she actually made me talk to Joanne.

I thought of how she came to support me when I had to give my final speech for Public Speaking. She was worried of me because according to her, my lips turned white when I was speaking. She thought I was going to faint.

She is also the reason why I use my real name in my blog. It was my first semester and I was thinking of having a blog. I asked her of her blog. She actually uses her real name. So, I just decided to use mine.

I thought of her smile, her laughter, her clumsiness, her excuses, the way she speaks, her love for her father and Malacca and how she can be annoying at times. She is someone that I could be honest with. Sometimes when I'm angry at her, I would just tell her straight in the face.

The most special thing of all, she said that I am the first Aimi that she has ever met. She asked me if she is the first Sandra I know. She is probably not the first Sandra I know, but she is definitely the unique Sandra Wong I know.

I thought of how I won't hear her voice again. I accept it as part of God's plan. So, I sat there and cried.

New Year, New Semester, New Timetable

2010-01-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

My fifth semester started on Monday, 11th January. I was quite excited. But unfortunately, I was stuck in traffic jam that I decided to just skip the first day.

Every semester, I would arrange my timetable in such a way that I would have at least a day off. For this semester, it is Monday.

No matter how I dislike 8am classes, I would somehow have them on every semester. This time, on all four days. This scares me. On the bright side, I have no classes after 4pm on all four days.

2009 Highlights

2009-12-31T17:25:00.001+08:00

Another year is coming to an end. It has been an exciting year, filled with surprises. There were good happenings as well as bad ones.

Mecca
Mecca is a place that Muslims want to be at least once in their lives. Fatina went somewhere in mid 2009. My mother and Farahin's parents went in October and November. My cousin Hadi went in December. When am I going?

Studies
My little sister Amalina ended her high school years in 2009. My cousin Anis completed her Diploma in Actuarial Science. I entered my 2nd year in degree and enjoy it even more.

Job
I was offered a job as a tutor. For those who do not know, I tutor school students eventhough I wasn't a good student myself. I place a low fee because I underestimate myself. Turned out, my student's parents have faith in me and pay me more than I asked for. Alhamdulillah.

Wedding
My cousin on my mother's side is the second person to get married in the family. She married a man 2 years her senior, while my cousin on my father's side married a girl 2 years his junior.

Fight
Normally, when I quarrel with my elder sister, we would get back together in less than a week. But this year, we took almost a year to finally talk to each other again. We became what my parents used to be.

Friendship

A very good friend of mine decided to end the friendship we had for almost 10 years. Her decision did not make me happy because I really adore her and I appreciate our friendship. I think she is hiding something. I just hope that she can reveal it to me someday so that we could be friends again.

Misfits
Alvin went for National Service somewhere early this year and completed it. He seemed to have fun. I was quite disappointed we didn't get to visit him while he was there.

Izzat went back to Melbourne early of the year and in March, he was back. He stayed for a few months and I think it was great that he was there for quite some time.

Shang Hui further his studies in Paris. He kept it a secret for a while until I found out about it. He left in May and was back in October. He even kept his homecoming a secret. Again, I found out about it.

I finally got to see Fatina drive in June. It was a surprise for me because since she got her license in 2007, I had never seen her drive.

Cappy wrapped up her cosplaying in 2009. She thinks she is already old for that.

Jason came back to Malaysia in December. He is going back to New Zealand in a couple of month. It's good to see him again.

Time Capsule
The Misfits finally created the time capsule. Cappy proposed the idea long ago but we never took the time to do it. There were debates on the duration of the time capsule being under the ground.

Twitter
Alvin created a Twitter account for the Misfits. It became a medium for us to chat instead of updating on what we are doing. All 7 of us can update whenever we feel like it. Normally, we write our name at the end of the update. Once, there was a ghost writer. It became a mystery for a while until the ghost revealed himself as the secretive guy Shang Hui.

YouTube
I created a YouTube account in March. I uploaded personal videos which were meant to be seen by those who are in the videos. I was surprised to see that a video I uploaded reached 700 views in only a few days. Strangers even commented the video. They were amused by it.

Birth
I became an 'aunt' to a baby girl on August 1st. My aunt gave birth to her fourth girl in November and my uncle welcomed a baby boy in December. Another uncle of mine adopted a new born in June.

Death
A lot of people passed away in 2009. From international celebrities, local celebrities to non-celebrities. As for people I know, my mother's cousin passed away mid of the year and a former school mate of mine also passed away at the age of 20.

2009 has been an unexpected year. What will 2010 hold for us?

Goals met?

2009-12-31T17:24:00.000+08:00

Earlier this year, I said that I wanted to change a few things about myself. Things in terms of time, money and weight. Let's see if my goals were met.

I think I've been better with money. There were months in this year were I thought I had more money than I needed. I managed to save for a new phone and I also deposited some money into my savings account. However, I do think I need to improve more.

Time. I think I've managed my time quite well, but not extremely well. Approaching year end, I had too much time, that I didn't know what to do. I ended up wasting it.

I was able to maintain my weight below a certain number throughout the year. However, I've gained the lost weight back. Staying at home too much made me gain weight again.

Can I say the initial goals were met? Not really. Improvements still need to be made.

Just Another Love Story

2009-12-19T13:17:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was the day that I finally got to see Jason after 2 years. We decided to go watch a movie. We went for the 3D version of 'Avatar'. Alvin warned us that the movie was 3 hours long. I didn't quite believe him. Well, I should have. It was really 3 hours long. Watching the movie made me tired. I fell asleep a few times. The worst thing was, the 3D goggle or whatever it is called, annoyed me. I'm grateful I don't need to wear spectacles as a part of my daily life.

Do you realize that no matter how great an action movie or any other movie in a similar genre is, in the end is just another love story? Well, 'Avatar' is one if it. The visuals were great, the story line was not that bad until the male character fell for the female Avatar. It changed everything. He could just return to his human world, but the 'love' made him choose the Avatar world instead.

Another movie of the same kind is 'Jumper'. In the beginning of the movie, David was happy jumping here and there, enjoying his life until the girl of the past appeared. The story just transformed. David's mission was not to enjoy life anymore, but to save the girl's life. I prefer Jamie Bell's character. He remained single and didn't have to worry about his girl being in danger. 'The Covenant' is another one. I don't understand. Why do guys have to reveal their secrets to the girls and get them involved?

Jamie Bell

Once a girl appears in a movie, the story changes completely. The story's mission changes to saving the girl. Why does this happen? Firstly, I think, the guys just have to be heroes. They want to show that girls are weak and need to be saved. Secondly, maybe romance is the factor that helps selling the movie. I think the romantic factor in an action movie is what turns me off. Once there's love in the air in an action movie, I start to lose interest in watching. An action movie should just remain an action movie.

Widowed Bride

2009-12-15T01:20:00.000+08:00

Have you heard?

After only three hours of becoming someone's wife, a woman changed her status to widow when her husband, his parents and a friend died in an accident.

How is that for an intro? I'm just practicing my news writing.

I think this particular news is really sad. It happened last Friday. I think the woman must be devastated by now. She is only 23 and became a widow on her wedding day.

It's all a part of God's plan. Everyone's fate is in His hands. We, as humans have to just bare with everything that comes our way. The woman was destined to lose her husband the very same day she married him. She must be a very tough woman.

Below average

2009-12-01T03:06:00.001+08:00

Normally, I write 5 posts and above each month. This month, I write only 4 posts, including this post.

I had a lot of ideas in mind. Just that they didn't get into writing.

Life is good

2009-12-01T01:53:00.000+08:00

November has been a great month for me.

To start with, my favourite lecturer of the semester decided to leave. Well, that's not the good news. I took 3 subjects under her and I really enjoyed her classes. Having her gone would be a great loss. Looking at the bright side, I got to have three days off. Wednesday was my day off for the semester. Since she was leaving, I got another 2 days off- Monday and Tuesday. Even better, I got long weekends. My classes on Thursday and Friday were still on. Even so, I decided not to go because they were not as interesting as the classes with this particular lecturer.

Miracle happened! My elder sister and I are finally talking again. Don't ask me how it happened. It just did. I felt like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder.

Another festival was celebrated. My Papa decided to go back to Terengganu on Thursday, the 26th. On the same day, his wife and the baby went back to Indonesia. I felt so happy to have my Papa as a single man again. I had to make sure I use it well.

The festival was tiring. Even so, I prefer Eid-ul-adha over Eid-ul-fitr. Every year, a cow would be slaughtered at my grandfather's backyard. After the slaughtering, came the separating of meat, organs and bones. Then, the slicing of meat, cooking and eating. This year, it was more tiring than usual because we organized a feast. What made it more tiring was that only a few of us were there. My elder sister and Amalina weren't there, my three uncles and their families weren't there as well. Every one with their own reason for their absence.

I had always wanted to buy a new phone. I had never bought my own phone. This year, I started to save. I'm not very good with money, so, it took me quite a long time to save. I finally got the money I needed. I knew I wanted Sony Ericsson but I didn't have any particular model in mind. When I went phone hunting, a particular phone caught my eye. I fell in love with it. I asked for the price and it was in my budget range. So, I bought it. It's Sony Ericsson W508. I made the first phone call from the phone to Farahin. Sadly, she didn't pick up.

I grabbed the moment of my father being single to ask him for a laptop. I already had a computer but mine was a desktop which I found quite troublesome at times. My Papa agreed and as soon as we got back home from Terengganu, we went laptop shopping. I'm not a fan of laptop shopping because I don't know what I want of a laptop. So, when we saw a laptop, we just bought it. I think it is a great laptop. It has a wide screen, built in webcamera, 320Gb internal hard disk and all the other things. Sadly, it doesn't have Bluetooth. I totally forgot about it. Even so, I'm thankful enough to have a new computer.

Life is good right now. I don't know what the future holds for me, but as for now, I'm grateful for everything I have.

That' s not my name

2009-11-22T22:17:00.000+08:00

The other day, my lecturer called me 'Nurul' in front of my class. Then I said softly "Aimi". I thought she did not hear, but she did-very clearly. She was like "Oh, ok. Aimi".

I don't like to be called by my middle name. Why? It's not unique. All my sisters have the name, even the baby. It's not much me in the name. It is just a shared name.

When I was in primary school, I used to write my full name, including the Nurul. When I entered high school, I dropped the Nurul. I wanted to be known as only Wan and Aimi. Once, I went to a private school and my class teacher didn't even know that I have the 'Nurul' in my name. My Media Marketing classmate, Yuki, who is also my groupmate for our term project saw my full name in the attendance list. She asked me, "did I put the 'Nurul' in your name?". My response was "it doesn't matter".When people who know my full name asked me what had happened to my Nurul, I would simply say, "I've dropped it".

Asians are known to be polite. We respect other people. We don't call people by their names, unless we know they are of the same age or younger. We respect those who are older than us, even when the gap is only one year. That's why there are terms such as 'kakak', 'abang', 'noona', 'oni', 'jie jie', 'ge ge' and a few others for those who are older. I really hate it when people use the term 'kakak' on me.

When I was working at the tuition center, my boss asked the kids to call me 'kakak'. I hated it. I asked them to call me by my name. One day, my boss heard one of the girls calling me by my name. My boss wasn't happy about it because she said the girl wasn't respecting me. I didn't feel disrespected. Even my little siblings address me by my name. So, I don't need others calling me 'kakak'.

I'm everyone's Aimi. Not Nurul. Not Kakak. Just Aimi.

Happy Birthday, Alvin!

2009-11-12T11:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Alvin,

Happy 20th Birthday!!! Your birthday wraps up Misfits' birthdays for the year.

I wish you all the best in life. You seem to be quite busy lately. I do hope we can still see you someday. You need to update us with your life stories.

Happy Birthday again, Alvin!

Happy Birthday, Hui Hui!

2009-10-31T16:37:00.000+08:00

On my 20th birthday, Hui Hui called me all the way from Paris at exactly 12 midnight in Malaysia. I was touched and thought it was very sweet of him to do that. Since it's his birthday, I thought I would do the same thing. I counted down to midnight. When my clock showed 00.00, I immediately called him.

Sadly, he did not pick up. I sent him an SMS instead saying "are you sleeping? Happy 20th birthday!". Shortly after that, he called me. He said that he was sleeping when I called, but he was awaken by it. He said he was about to pick it up when I hung up.

Hui Hui was the first person to wish me on my birthday. So, I asked "am I the first person to wish you?". He said "hmmm...no". Why wasn't I surprised?

Happy 20th Birthday, Shang Hui!

Thinks.com

2009-10-27T11:42:00.001+08:00

I think I've mentioned before that I love to solve jigsaw puzzle. However, I don't like to keep it after I'm done. I usually give it away. Let's see my portfolio.

I solved this puzzle and gave it to my former employer as a gift for her 3rd wedding anniversary and 1st anniversary as a mother. She runs an education center, so I thought she could hang the puzzle on the wall.

I gave this puzzle to my cousin Adib on her 18th birthday.

I always spend my break between classes in the computer lab. One day, I got bored. So, I searched for online jigsaw puzzle on MSN. Sadly, I couldn't play because it needed flash and the computer doesn't have flash. Then, I googled for online jigsaw puzzle and came across this website called 'think.com'.

This website is where you want to be if you love puzzle. It does not only have jigsaw puzzle, but also sudoku, word search, crosswords and other types of puzzle.

The best thing for me would be the jigsaw puzzle. The website has a gallery of pictures. I can choose any picture and turn it into jigsaw puzzle. It also has daily jigsaw puzzle. So, I can solve different puzzle each day. I can also choose the jigsaw pieces, 12 being the least and 90 being the most. There's a timer, if I wished to record how long I can solve the puzzle.

Solving jigsaw puzzle online is different from the traditional way. The pieces are already in the right orientation. I do not need to rotate the pieces and figure out how they fit in. Actually, I can choose the 'turnable pieces' version, if I wished to turn the pieces upside down. When two pieces belong together, they attract each other. So, I know I've done correctly. Whenever I give up, I can click the 'solve' button and the puzzle would be solved on its own.

Now, whenever I'm bored or have time to spare, I'll go to thinks.com.

1st anniversary

2009-10-23T11:28:00.000+08:00

It's been a year since my first post. I think it's now time to change my profile picture. Initially my picture is this. Marvin took it when I was at his house.

Now, I want to change my picture to this. My photographer Mr Izzat Osman took it when we were at Secret Recipe. If you liked this picture, you can give him the credit.

When I first started this blog, I did it for the fun of it. I wrote about things that happened to me. Like my journey back to Hamburg and how I met my friends again. I made my blog my diary. I didn't really want people to read. Then, my cousin started to read, followed by the 'Misfits'. So, I started to write about how I relate myself to things. Like how I relate myself to songs, movies and certain issues. I think this way, people can give their opinion on the issue. I don't think people would like to read about what I did today or yesterday or the day before. I also don't want to bore you with my everyday life.

Nevertheless, this blog is all about me. That's why I named it 'My Voice'. If you noticed, I don't and won't reply to comments. I do read them but I don't respond to them. I think by writing posts, I've already given my point of view on things. So, the comments are for my readers to tell their opinions. You are free to voice out your opinion. Maybe, I should change the name to 'My Voice and Your Voice'.

Another thing you may notice, I like to write a post on a different day and publish it on another day. The thing is, when I have an idea or if it's someone's birthday, I would create a post, write the title and leave it blank. Days later, I would come back and write the whole post. I know it can be annoying. I will try not to do that in the future.

To those who are loyal to my blog, Thank You! Thank you for reading and I appreciate your comments.

To My Voice, Happy 1st Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Zurkarnain!

2009-10-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

The baby Zurkarnain

My brother is the first and last son of the family. He is also my maternal grandmother's second grandson after my cousin, who was born in 1983 and a row of 10 girls. His birth was celebrated. I remember we had a feast at our home in Perak. I was busy playing with Anis upstairs that we missed the whole thing. When we went down, the feast was already over!

I always see my brother as the little baby. Sometimes, when I really look at him, he already has pimples!

Anyway, Happy 14th Birthday, Zurkarnain! Hab dich lieb.

Zurkarnain's evolution

Happy Birthday, Fatina!

2009-10-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

Last year, Fatina, Izzat and another friend, Faizal and I went to visit a former teacher. Actually, she was just the counsellor. While sitting in the living room, I noticed fresh flowers on the table. I asked Fatina, "do you like fresh flowers?". She answered, "Of, course!". Then, I spontaneously said, "I'll get them for your birthday". Fatina responded, "you ruined the surprise!". Ooopps. When I said that, I did not realize that her birthday was just around the corner. I told Irina about the incident. She said, "I guess you really have to get her flowers". When Fatina's birthday came, I totally forgot. I forgot the day and I did not have any presents. Not even the flowers.

This year, I told myself not to forget her birthday. I planned my 'strategy' ahead. I wanted to deliver flowers to her house. I wanted to make it look like they were from someone else. I wanted her to think that the flowers were from one of her stalkers. I just wanted to see her reaction. I told Cappy of the idea. She asked, "is this some kind of an experiment?".

Initially, I wanted to get her white and yellow flowers because they mean 'friendship'. Cappy suggested red. Then I thought, if I wanted to make her think the flowers were from her stalker, I should get red. So, I took Cappy's advice. When I went to the flourist, she gave me a card. I don't know when the last time Fatina saw my handwriting but I assumed she would not recognize my handwriting. I wrote on the card "Dear Fatina, remember I promised you flowers last year? Happy Birthday!". I didn't think she would remember. So, I didn't think she would get the message.

The day is finally here. I purposely did not wish her this morning because Cappy and I had another plan. This evening I asked Cappy if the plan was on. She said she would get back to me since she had class. Then, somebody called me. I expected it to be Cappy but it was Fatina! I picked up and she shouted "Aimi!!!! Thank you!". I pretended not to know but she was convinced that the flowers were from me. She said she recognized my handwriting and she remembered about last year. I'm just not good at pranking people.

Then, I went to get Cappy and we went to Fatina's house to kidnap her. We went to eat pizza at the new restaurant. It was nice. We talked and updated ourselves. I had a great time. I hope Fatina did, too. Happy 20th Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Jase!

2009-10-03T19:17:00.005+08:00

Dear Jason,

I don't remember the last time we celebrated your birthday. It must be a couple of years back. Now, I want to give you the very common wishes that people give on birthdays.

I wish you....

the best of luck in your double degree. Good Luck!
a good life which is filled with joy and not stress.
safety and health.
all the good things and finally...
a great day!

I hope we can celebrate your birthday with the other two October babies, when you're back. Happy 19th Birthday, Jason!

10 sen short

2009-10-03T19:17:00.003+08:00

I'm not good with managing money. So, sometimes I don't carry a lot of money with me to avoid over-spending. Yesterday, I had only RM 47 and a few sens in my purse. I needed the RM 7 to travel to and fro HELP with the public transport. I wanted to use the RM 40 to pay for the flowers I was going to pick up for Wei Lian. I would only need the money on the way home. Actually, I would pass by my house, but I was too lazy to drop by. I wanted to go to the florist first and then go home. That's why I had the money with me at first place.

This is how I spent the money. I used RM 1 to buy the bus ticket. Then, I used RM 5 to buy an RM 1.40 LRT ticket. I bought the ticket via the machine. I supposed to get RM 3.60 back, in coins. Normally, the machine would give me 7 50sens and a 10sen. So, I didn't bother to check if the machine gave me the correct amount. Later, I used two 50sen for another bus ticket. On the way back, I used an RM 1 to buy another bus ticket. That was when I checked my coins.

I needed another RM 2.40 to get home. I had 2 50sens for the other bus. Then, I checked if I had exactly RM 1.40 for the LRT ticket. To my disappointment, I was exactly 10sen short! What?! I searched through my bag for a 10sen. I went through all the pockets, yet I couldn't find any. I don't think a stranger would mind giving me 10 sen. But I wouldn't ask. So, I had to use one of the RM 10 from the RM 40. I also had to drop by my house to get some extra money to pay the florist.

As a conclusion, I can only say that the machine gave me 50sen short. What have I learnt from this? Always carry some extra money, in case of emergency. Also, to be generous. Why, you may ask. Earlier that day, the clerk of our department asked if I would like to contribute some money to the flood victims in Manilla. I said no because I knew I had only enough money to go home and pay for the flowers. What goes around, comes around. That's KARMA.

October babies

2009-10-03T19:17:00.001+08:00

October is here! October is a famous month for babies to be born. Let's see whose birthday is coming up. I hope I don't forget the days.

Oct 2- Schamaiel's 19th
Oct 3- Jase's 19th
Oct 9- Fatina's 20th
Oct 18- Zurkarnain's 14th
Oct 25- Aldin's 20th
Oct 26- My Aunt's 47th
Oct 31- Hui Hui's 20th

Did I leave someone out? I hope not.

Happy Birthday, Anis!

2009-10-01T13:35:00.001+08:00

It's Anis' 20th Birthday! I was there even before the clock stricked 12. I wanted to be the first to wish her. Sadly, even before 12 midnight, people had already started to wish her. So, I wasn't the first, but somewhere in the first 10.

We spent yesterday afternoon shopping together. Actually, I shopped for my things. She was there to advise me what to buy and what not to buy. Thanks, Anis!

That afternoon, I went to have Japanese food all by myself. Later, I called her. She said she was going to have Japanese food for dinner. She asked me to join. So, I had Japanese food twice.

Fresh Salmon-yummy

YingYang

Me, Anis and Aisyah

Anis, Adib, Me and Amirah

I know this post is published quite late, but I have yet to buy you lunch. I don't know what to get you as a present, so I hope the lunch will do.

Happy 20th Birthday! I love you.

Emo

2009-09-30T14:01:00.001+08:00

I went for shopping with Anis and I came across this T-shirt. It was quite cheap, so I asked her, "should I get it?". She said, "why, not?". So, this is what I got myself.

Can you actually recognize the picture on the T-shirt? In case you can't see, there is the word EMO at the top of the picture. That's why I got the T-shirt.

EMO is another three-letter word. Actually, it isn't since it comes from the word 'emotional'. EMO is something that Izzat can relate best to.

I was quite EMO lately. I don't get EMO that easily. Whenever a girl gets EMO, people always relate it to the hormone or the cycle. Well, can't a girl get EMO just because she is emotionally hurt? After all, girls are known to be more sensitive than boys. However, is it all true?

Boys are brought up to be manly. Boys who show their emotions openly are considered to be sissy. I've seen boys crying before. I do think it's fine for boys to cry at times. It's also fine for them to show their emotions at times. Afterall, they are humans, too. However, it can get annoying if it happens too often.

Ego

2009-09-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

E.G.O is a three letter word. It is something that cannot be seen, yet it is something very strong. It can be so strong that it will destroy you.

I admit I am an egoistic person. That's why I still haven't made up to my older sister. The EGO inside of me tells me that I am the innocent one. Whenever we had an argument, she would be the one making up to me. Well, that's the way it should be. She can win during the argument, but I always win during the silent treatment. My sister just loves me. She needs me. That's all my EGO talking.

Things are different this time. It has been months since we last talked to each other. Since it was the Eid, I thought I would finally drop my EGO and make up to her. I told my little sister the plan. However, when I saw my older sister, I just couldn't do it. Making up to her means I'm rising the white flag. Now, I have a feeling that she is in the process of making up to me. I think I'll just wait for her to drop her EGO.

I'm too egoistic when it comes to my parents and older sisters. If it was my little siblings or my friends, I wouldn't mind making up to them. But, I just couldn't do it if it was my parents or older sisters. I would wait for them to make it up to me or for time to make things better. I have issues, I know.

Children

2009-09-27T16:16:00.000+08:00

I think children are adorable. They are innocent creatures. They don't deserved to be dumped like trash, scolded or yelled at. Sometimes mothers claim that they carried their children for 9 months, so they have the rights to scold their children. However, children have voices, too. Those voices want to be heard.

I have small cousins. They are sisters. Sometimes, we call them the 'Power Puff Girls' because there are three of them. Their parents got a divorce when the oldest girl was only 3 years old. The youngest was not even born yet. During that difficult time, my aunt and those girls lived with us. Later, we moved to Germany and they continued to live at our house. My older sisters were also there.

My aunt was busy. She had a lot of things to handle. Sometimes she had to leave her children at home. The girls cried for their mother. My eldest sister did not want them to cry. She wanted them to be quiet. What she did was, she locked one of the girls in the room with her. She would not let her out unless she kept quiet. Her intention: to teach the girl a lesson. My sister said she wasn't being mean because she didn't leave the girl alone. She was actually with her in the room. Second thing, she was just trying to teach her not to cry for her mother all the time.

Then there was me. I loved to buy them things. Sometimes, when I went out and saw cute things, I thought of the girls. That's why I bought them things. I also loved to hug and kiss them. My sister said I was spoiling them. I don't think it's spoiling. They deserved to be loved. I still love to hug and kiss them, eventhough the oldest girl is already 12. What's the surprise? I still kiss my 'baby' brother who is almost 14!

A few years back, when my sister just came back from the US, we went to visit my aunt and the girls at their new home. My cousin was not herself. She was quiet. I was surprised. I asked her why. She said "nothing". Then, my sister went to the toilet. My cousin suddenly became her own self again. When she heard my sister coming out of the toilet, she kept quiet again. Then my sister stood exactly behind my little cousin. She became terrified. I could see it in her eyes. I don't know how my little cousin would feel now because my sister hasn't seen them ever since. So, was my sister's 'parenting' all worth it?

I need a hug!

2009-09-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

People usually get Teddy Bears if they need hugs. I don't understand why. A Teddy Bear might be fluffy and cuddly, but it doesn't hug you back. You can hug the Teddy for hours, but it just won't hug you back. If it does hug you, there must be something wrong with the Teddy. Or maybe, with you.

There are people that I would really like to hug. They look very huggable. First one on the list, Oprah Winfrey! Isn't it obvious? She loves to hug people and she looks very cuddly herself.

The next one on the list is Tyra Banks. I want to hug her not because she's beautiful and successful, but because she looks motherly. Judging from what I see on TV, she looks very friendly and a fun person to be around.

There are also other people that I would love to hug. But I think the cuddliest person I know is my paternal grandmother. She was fat, even fatter than Oprah. She was a soft-hearted person. She had a nice smile. No wonder, my Papa is a mommy's boy. I would love to get another hug from her. Sadly, she died in 1996. The day she died was my Ibu's 37th birthday.

Relations

2009-09-25T07:52:00.000+08:00

During my Eid holiday, I went to Kelantan, where my mother is originally from. I found out something amazing about my grandmother. My grandmother knows a lot of people. And those people are actually related to us. The other thing is, my mother knows them as well.

My grandmother knows all of her half siblings from 3 different mothers, her second and even third cousins and also the family of her children's in laws. Not only does she know them by name, they know her too. She also knows their stories. Whose children they are, the siblings, the spouses and even how they met their spouses. Isn't that amazing? Well, I think so.

The other day, I accompanied my grandmother to the house of my eldest aunt's mother in law. She lived with her daughter and since it was the Eid holiday, the rest of her children were also there. We received a very warm welcome. All of them knew who my grandmother was. They even invited her to have lunch with them. When I told them whose child I was, they knew who my mother was.

As for me, I do know a couple of my second cousins by name. I know these two brothers named Aiman and Adam. They are my mother's cousin's sons. I don't think I know anymore second cousins. I do know my both grandfathers' siblings. I know my maternal grandmother's siblings, but only those from the same mother and father. My paternal grandmother has too many brothers and sisters. I don't even know how many of them all together. But I know they are siblings if I see them because they look very alike. Even so, I don't think they know me or recognize me. I also don't think that I would go visit them in the future. I mean not by myself.