I've ruined a friendship

When I first met my boyfriend, I kind of knew that he was interested in me. Back then, we were not even friends. We were just class mates. I had my own hang out group and he wasn't part of the group. Yet, he loved to call me, be around me and accompany me to my old school to see Irina. I was denying the fact that he was indeed interested in me. But I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed, our other classmates noticed that, too.

So, then we became friends. I even made him my best friend. We loved to talk to each other about things that happened in our lives. Sometimes we asked each other's opinion on a specific topic. I loved to watch him cook for me and then we would eat together, while talking about our lives again. Our friendship was great.

Then I realised that he liked to do things for me, which I don't think were necessary. On my birthday, he was late to meet me just because he went to get me chocolates. I still took it as a friendship thing, but even Irina noticed that he wanted more than just friendship. I told her, "he's a friend". Eventhough I'm not into relationships, I always told myself that I would never date a friend, let alone my best friend.

But, when he confessed his feelings to me and asked me to become his girlfriend, I said "yes". What was that??? I guess I did not dare to say "no" to him. The next day, I already felt so awkward. I was avoiding him in a way. There are reasons why I said "yes".

1. I thought it could work, eventhough I did not have feelings for him.
2. We connected, I could talk to him about a lot of things.
3. His parents knew me, even his grandma, and we can relate to each other, too. Especially his mom, I love her.
4. I hated the fact that he wanted to wait for me.

In the beginning everything went well, eventhough I felt awkward. We wrote each other emails and updated on ourselves. People always say that long-distant relationships won't work, but I really thought it could work. But later, I didn't want the relationship anymore. So, after 4 months, I broke up with him. It was quite brief. I told him that I wanted a breakup. He said "fine". Just like that. Then I asked him, "do you still love me?". He replied, "as a friend, yes".

I thought things would go as they were, but sadly, NO. We haven't talked to each other ever since. We are both often online, but neither of us make an attempt to talk to each other. On new year, he wished me a happy new year. I wished him back and that was it. We don't have conversations like we used to. I hate this. Sometimes I regret saying "yes" to him. I should have just said 'NO'. I was not only going against my principle but I also have ruined a great friendship and I miss it a lot. I miss him as my best friend.