The Dzabiris

The Dzabiris are a family friend. They are from Albania. My Ibu met the mother, Rashide, while picking up my brother from school. The youngest daughter, Kadime, was my brother's classmate. Every Friday, we used to have a Qur'an lesson at our house. We called an Indonesian teacher to teach. Since the Dzabiris are Muslim too, my ibu invited them as well. The second daughter, the rebellious one, Lavda, was just a year younger than Amalina. They went to the same school and saw each other a lot. They then became very close friends. I heard about the eldest sister, Bessa, a lot, yet I never had the chance to meet her. She was a year younger than me. The first time I met her, she was only 12. I was shocked. She looked far more matured. She looked like 16. All of us became very close, even our fathers. The thing I liked most was their food. The mother always made good food. Sometimes, I stayed longer at their place just to eat.

When I was in Germany recently, I knew somehow that they have moved. But, my former land lady told me that they were still there. So, I just tried my luck. I went their old house. The name on the buzzer was different. I didn't try to call them. I took a week to call them. Lavda came on the phone. I asked to guess where I was. She said, "Germany". I told her how I would love to visit them. Let me repeat 'visit' them. I asked them to tell me how to get there. The mother said they would come and pick me up and that I did not need to worry. The next day the mother called. But, Chun Chun forgot to tell me. Later Rashide called back. She told me that they would pick me up. But, Chun Chun and I had plans, so, I told them to come on Friday.

I thought I was going to spend the weekend there. Then, the mother said, "no, you will stay here for a week". I was thinking "WHAT?!". I had another one week to spend in Germany and I had promised Irina. I told her that I had already promised Irina. She said, "never mind, you can break a promise sometimes". Well, that does not work for me. I don't break promises, especially not the ones I made with my best friend. I protested, of course. Then she said, "I don't think your dad would mind". Well, I understand. They are a Muslim family. It was easier for me to pray and eat, yet I had promised Irina. Besides, I don't tell my Papa what I do and where I go.

Just like Marvin's family, the Dzabiris welcomed a boy to their family. It's like everyone was having babies. Even my former land lady. Since they were so excited to see me, they wanted to know what had happened for the past years. I did not want to tell them about my parents' divorce. I knew that they would ask tones of questions. Well, without me telling anything, they already asked me a lot of questions which I didn't want to answer. I just wanted to get out of there. The problem was, I was not in Hamburg anymore. I was in another state, Schleswig Holstein. It's not that far away, but still I did not know how to get back to Hamburg.

The family is so conservative. They prepare meals together, each of them are assigned to specific house chores, they have picnics together, they eat dessert together, they go shopping together and they are concerned about the cousin's wedding. All of that does not work for me. I came from a broken family. We don't do all that. So, I did not feel comfortable staying with them. All I had to do was to talk to the mother. So, on Monday, when the kids went to school, I asked the mother if they could send me to Irina's place. It was a tough conversation. She said how she welcomed me at their home, that even the husband was happy and how they took me just like their own daughter. Then, I felt a bit guilty to leave but I promised to come back before I go back to Malaysia.

The Dzabiri Girls

The next Friday, I went to their place again. This time, I went by myself. They picked me up on the way. The next day, we went to have lunch with the aunt. She wanted me to dine at their place so much. The daughter, whom I knew from before already has her own daughter and the baby is so beautiful. The food was sooo good. We had soup and bread as appetizers, then rice as main course and later chocolate pudding for dessert. The aunt even gave me a few gifts to bring back home. Later, I had to leave. Rashide said if I were coming to Germany again, I have to stay with them. The aunt also welcomed me at their place. I appreciate their hospitality but I just can't stay with them for long. I don't fell at ease. Then Bessa and the cousin, Drita, sent me off to the train station. That was the last time I saw the Dzabiris.

If I were staying longer in Germany, they would have brought me with them to their hometown. It would be fun, since I have never been to Albania, but I don't think I can take it. Firstly, it would be a long drive. Secondly, we are just too different. They are not bad people. In fact, they are very nice people, just I don't think I can fit in.